Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
