you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
