I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Soap is not a condiment
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
