Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
