The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
