she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
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