Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
