Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
