Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
