Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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