its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
