Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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