ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
