His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
