After last night, I could never be a politician.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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