Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
