i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
