so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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