He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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