My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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