wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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