I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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