We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
