i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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