my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
