They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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