Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I think I died a long time ago.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
