I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
he fucked my hip out of place.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
