I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
