y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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