IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
