Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
