can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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