You're earring is so big in my mouth
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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