Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Randomize
