it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
