I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
you would pick up someone in the library
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
