sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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