come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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