Your mouth is God's brothel.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
