need another drink. this is the easiest way
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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