dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
