hell yes lets make some ravioli
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
