i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
