this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
