tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
