Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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