I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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