Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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