I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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