we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
